Calming your Monkey Mind – try this quick exercise from a Buddhist master
Are you a victim of busy-ness?
The Skill of Confidence
Ready to roar with confidence? Or ready to subtly shine in any situation? How about just recognizing this…..
Quick solution for anxiety!
Well hello everyone! This is one of my favourite tools / solutions for anxiety, heightened emotion, overthinking & obsessing that I LOVE TO SHARE. Those of you who are (or have been) my clients will be familiar with this as I’m sure I taught it to you. So, then this is a great reminder to use it 😉
Just another way to create more contentment ✨
How do you respond to expectations? What are your tendencies?
I had the fortune of seeing Gretchen Rubin (author of The Happiness Project & Better Than Before) speak in San Diego last week. She was sharing about her her new book “The Four Tendencies” & discussing the 4 personality profiles she discovered after investigating how people respond to expectations.
It’s a great framework to better understand yourself & others – it opens doors to deeper conversation & connection with yourself & your loved ones
I find I’m enjoying having it as another helpful tool when I pause to observe my responses & internal dialogue. I’m also better understanding responses & reactions from those I know & love by simply observing them & considering their responses based on their tendency.
So, perhaps share the quiz over dinner with loved ones & support each other in being your best selves by using this tool.
Take the quiz here & find out your tendency…
(BTW – I’m an Obliger with Rebellious tendencies ;-D)
Who am I? Why do I do what I do? How to I work? (get the scoop here)
Follow my YouTube channel
I thought I’d add a link to my Youtube channel where I have some short videos that walk you thorough some simple tips, tools & insights to keep your mindset in check 🙂 I’ll be uploading probably more regularly than I am posting to this Blog to be honest ! Click ➔ https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCUiFnECqrCwNwup17NS0vng
Also come join me in my FB group ‘The Contentment Collective’ – as I post there more regularly too – then click ➔ https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheContentmentCollective/
6 Steps to wipe out worry, neutralize negativity & rewire yourself for habitual happiness
Hello hello! It’s been a while….
This year has been moving right along at an unbelievable rate & it reminds me of hearing both my grandmothers & then eventually my parents telling me that as you get older time speeds up. Indeed. I guess I’m officially “older” now – I can’t believe it’s already June. The other thing I’m noticing – as I’m sure you all are too – is that everything is speeding up, not just time. As a society we expect everything to happen quickly – people are required to be faster at their work, get more done, multi-task to the Nth degree. Be juggling texts, emails, phone calls, projects, kids, families, eating. drinking, traveling, LIVING at such a pace that our minds race and for many barely even turn off to sleep. No wonder a general state of anxiety is so pervasive. Hardly anyone spends time actually IN the present.
So, that said, I’m sharing with you something that will help.
I’ve continued enjoying supporting my clients in getting control of their thinking & their lives – but the one thing that keeps coming up is clients asking me to remind them of one of the most valuable tools I always teach – how to SNAP OUT of negativity & old “programs” & habits in 6 steps.
My 6S to Success™ solution is written out in a previous blog post but here is a fleshed out version that can be downloaded & printed. I figured it made sense to create a “takeaway” for you all, one that you can refer to & use for any & all unwanted habits, thought patterns, negativity, worry etc.
This is just one of the ways to practice becoming more present in your life. Anxiety & worry are not activities of the present. So the more present you are, the calmer, more relaxed & at ease you are – period.
If you have questions – shoot them my way!
Check it out & download it here ➔ 6S to Success™
WATCH me walk you through the 6 Steps ➔ https://youtu.be/PUjnt_La83Q
How to STOP WORRYING in 1 positive step
Worrying.. ugh…SO uncomfortable and negative in its energy, yet seems to be such a part of life for many people. It seems like a thing we’re supposed to do. We’re supposed to worry about people we love..aren’t we? We’re supposed to worry about work/money/the state of the world ..right? That means we care..doesn’t it?
Yes it does mean we care! But here’s the thing- here’s what we should actually be doing. CARING and LOVING, not worrying and fretting.
Love and care are positive activities (and feelings) of mind and body. Caring is a positive projection of energy. When we love and care, we are hopeful. We feel good when we create and cultivate that kind of energy and those comforting, considerate, warm thoughts. Loving and caring does something good for us. We feel more positive, we feel more energetic, we feel happier, we have more mental and emotional energy and we then feel more supported by life.
Worrying is fear based – it’s a projection of negative energy. When we worry we are afraid of negative outcomes. We feel uncomfortable, we become anxious, we become preoccupied, we dwell, we feel uneasy, we get nervous, we fret. We launch ourselves into creating “negative” energy and feelings, AND we all know worry doesn’t really change the situation, person or thing, does it?! What it does do is reinforce discomfort and dis-ease within and causes our mind to “go there” all to easily.
If you’re the type of person who “what if’s” everything, then you know those can go on forever. You probably already have a solution or plan of action ready to go for whatever might happen anyway. You’ve probably played out, and thought through, all sorts of scenarios a multitude of times.
So what if you let go of the “what if”-ing? So what if you trust yourself to manage and handle whatever comes your way easily? After all, you’re well rehearsed, are you not?
Now unfortunately, like many other things we do over and over in our minds (and bodies), worry can simply become a habit. A mode of behaviour that kicks in automatically – a pattern or program we continue to fuel and strengthen by getting all caught up in the activity and feelings of worry. Something we generally do unconsciously, but certainly something you can change (See my previous post for a tool and tips to halt the habit http://templehypnosis.com/my-6S-solution-for-overthinking/)
So STOP yourself before you go too far and launch yourself into worrying, spinning yourself up in knots, fretting and creating that discomfort of fear. Back up. Take a look at what’s behind or underneath your worries. See and feel what’s REALLY going on. Inevitably there is a positive intent, a positive feeling, idea or desire underneath. Inevitably it’s love or care in some form.
Simply – STOP, back up & notice your POSITIVE feelings and thoughts underneath- notice where that old worry was actually stemming from. From something good no doubt.
(Now if there is a solution that needs to be found, or a problem that can be solved for the thing you’re worrying about- then understand that, and move into productive thinking – into problem solving mode. Worrying mode only really produces uncomfortable results – it rarely solves anything.)
Notice if what you’re experiencing is the the habit, the worry program kicking in, or, is it that you care, you love. That you hold that something or someone as important and special to you. If so, then sit with it – sit with and be in the positive feelings and thoughts of love, care and hope. Notice how this feels different.
Catch yourself – and practice backing up and being in the good stuff. Cultivate and grow loving and caring energy for and toward the things you used to worry about. Practice staying in this optimistic state. This feels better. This feels positive. This does you good.
And soon, you’ll begin to experience yourself as you really are – a loving, caring, thoughtful person. A hopeful optimist – rather than a negative worry wart or nervous nellie. You’ll feel things are indeed more positive – your perspective becomes brighter. Perhaps you begin to notice what is really worth expending and projecting your energy on, and in what way you choose to do it.
Watch my short video about WORRY here ➔ https://www.facebook.com/templehypnosis/
6 Steps to successfully stop overthinking. Re-train & re-wire your brain now.
Try this 6S Solution™ for overthinking (and yes, success will be what you experience when practicing it!)
Dear Overthinking, Rumination, Obsessing and Analysis Paralysis,
Oh how familiar we have been… how intertwined we once were…but oh how I am enjoying less and less of you in my life! (hallelujah)
…“You”, Overthinking and Spinning Mind, are spoken of regularly by my clients. You are frustrating, you are an energy vampire. You are a waste of time. You confuse, you meddle, you negate. You keep us stuck with spinning wheels, wanting to take action but somehow unable to.
Why, oh why do you continue to be alive and well in our lives when we want more than anything to be free of you?…
It’s a human thing. It’s a program many of us are wired to run.
Our marvelous computer brains are constantly busy wiring together bits of information and experience. We utilize well-worn neural pathways all the time – some positive, enjoyable and serving us well in life… and others, not so.
So there we are, stuck in paralysis over an option, trying to make a decision or choice over something. We’re unsettled and unsure about the next or first step to take, we’re caught up mapping out or talking about all the paths and options for the 20th or 30th time. We’re feeling badly about something we did or said, an argument we had and only NOW we’re coming up with all the smart comebacks we wish we’d said! And dang it, there we are again, lying awake at night ruminating on that thing.
What’s actually happening when we do that? Are we actually figuring out our next step? Are we coming up with a solution? Probably, eventually, yes. But only after running the Overthinking / Obsessing / Rumination Program for what seems like an agonizing amount of time.
What we are doing in-fact is strengthening the pattern of overthinking! We are reinforcing the program and increasing the power of the behaviour – fuelling it to grow, to be habit, to be the default. UGH.
We are wiring together even tighter and stronger the neural pathways of that program– and also beefing up all the small connections that relate to that pattern or habit – all the “extras” in feelings, memories, situations, beliefs and learnings that have become associated with the pattern or program based on all our experiences in life.
Unfortunately most our overthinking and paralysis comes all wrapped up in negative chatter. Clouded in worry or fear, and riddled with past examples or experience of when “that bad thing” happened. We remember that “mistake” we made. We feel that “horrible discomfort”, we hear “what was said”, we see the “truth” as we believed it then.
And boy oh boy do we want to avoid it! So round and round we go. Digging that groove deeper.
And so deeper and deeper we go into procrastination, worry, and then very often into stress, anxiety or depression.
I decided to write about Overthinking today because it’s exactly the program that popped up for me in knowing I was going to have to write this Blog post.
There I was starting to overthink blogging! (Ridiculous?!)
Overthinking how to go about it, what I would write, who would – or could – possibly be interested, and why it was even worth doing.
There I was imagining, and essentially creating, end results. I was busy making up dialogue in my head about all those things, setting the stage for uncomfortable scenarios. (About blogging!?)
There was that old faint tinge of paralysis creeping in. Procrastination luring me to something else as the mental spinning was trying to kick in.
“NOPE! REJECT!” (insert pattern interrupt here!)
This is where I personally get to practice what I teach. And I love it!
Luckily we are indeed able to create positive new pathways and programs for ourselves.
Simply knowing that we can change arms us more confidently. Then, we just need to get really good at interrupting those old negative programs. Halting them in their tracks the moment we notice them. Then comes a Reset, and most importantly, the Redirect to what we would prefer to experience, do, feel, believe and think. Then action!
This is where Pattern Interrupts come into play.
There are many ways to do this.
Now I don’t mean interrupting the pattern by choosing to watch TV instead of making that dreaded phone call – this doesn’t mean surfing the internet instead of getting that paper written – this isn’t a Pattern Interrupt called Procrastinate Now!
What I mean, are simple techniques – or practices – that interrupt the pattern or program running by putting a roadblock in the way. Thus forcing our minds to take an alternative route. An alternate route we can choose to create. Effectively having our minds become aware of other options that are, and will be, available to us when the trigger is activated in the future (whatever that might be for us –a project that needs doing, a decision that needs to be made, or even a blog entry that needs to be written!)
For me today, the pattern interrupt and solution was simply this-
- STOP – stopping what I was doing at the very moment I recognized what was happening, what the pattern of dialogue was and where my mind was starting to go. (ROADBLOCK)
- SNAP – snapping my fingers at the same time as saying “Nope! Reject!” out loud. Snapping yourself out of it! (ROADBLOCK)
- STILL yourself – Stilling myself by taking a deep breath and dropping my awareness into my heart as I exhaled. Breathing into and around my heart space over and over for a good minute or more. (RESET)
- SEE – seeing in my minds eye that space opening up, expanding and filling, – seeing space open up for me to begin writing easily (RESET)
- SET – setting into motion the feelings, images, sounds and sensations of having accomplished writing this blog post. Setting myself up for success. Seeing it finished on my website, feeling great about getting it done, imagining it being read positively, imagining and hearing myself speaking about blogging with enthusiasm, feeling excited about what to write next, sensing confidence spreading (REDIRECT) and then…
- START – I start writing. Just start. Get a few ideas, sentences down… then a few more and then BAM – before you know it you’re done.
And so I am!
This 6S Solution ™ is great for anxiety, worry, anger, fear, frustration – pretty much anything that causes you to be moving, thinking, feeling & experiencing yourself in a ways you no longer enjoy.
I have many other ROADBLOCKS, RESETS & REDIRECTS that can be inserted into this formula. I will be sharing them, as I go.
So check back here – or sign up for my newsletter below.
And as I continue to practice interrupting that old overthinking program myself and create this new successful “get her done” one, I’ll soon be loving writing this blog.
Thanks for reading! I hope you find this tool useful. Practice often, and notice the positive results of re-wiring your brain.
6S Solution ™2015 Shalynn Flavell